I used to believe that love meant putting everyone else and their needs first, before my own. While I do think there is some truth to that, in the sense that being a giving person is one of the ultimate acts of being a loving person, I came to realize that I must give to and love myself first and foremost.
以前,我相信愛就意味著要把他人和他人的需求放在自己的需求之前。現在我仍然認為這種觀點有一定的道理,因為作一個“施愛者”的最高境界之一就是作一個“給予者”。但是,我漸漸意識到,給予自己、愛自己才是最重要的。

Here's why:
原因如下:

When you put everyone and everything else above you, you are no longer valuing yourself and your needs. And when you are not meeting your needs, and you don't take care of yourself (emotionally, physically, mentally, spiritually), you can't be the best version of yourself to the special people in your life. So in essence, you don't love them at your full potential!
當你把一切其他人、其他事都置于自己之上時,你就不能再看到自己的價值、考慮自己的需求了。而當你無法滿足自己的需求時,你就不能(從心理上、生理上、思想上、精神上)好好照顧自己了。這樣,對你生命中那些特別的人來說,你便無法成為那個最好的自己。所以,從本質上說,你沒有盡自己一切潛能來愛他們!

Here are some things to consider —
你需要思考一下:

1. Are you physically taking care of yourself? Do you nourish yourself with the right foods, get enough sleep, exercise, are at a healthy weight, and on top of your check-ups? If not, I bet your energy is low, you're tired and stressed, and your confidence isn't the highest (because you probably don't feel your best). Now think about how much more you could give to others when you aren't exhausted, you're happy with what you see in the mirror, and you aren't on edge with stress.
1、你好好照顧自己的身體了嗎?你有沒有做到合理飲食以獲得營養、得到足夠的睡眠和鍛煉、維持健康體重并保持體檢各項指標都正常?如果沒有,我敢說你的能量肯定很有限,你感到疲倦、壓力很大,而且信心也不在最高值(因為你很可能不在最佳狀態)。現在,想象一下,如果你不疲憊,樂于看到鏡中的自己,而且沒有因為壓力而感到煩躁不安,你能為別人多做多少事啊!

2. Are you emotionally and mentally healthy? As humans, we're so complex and having ups and downs is normal. But in general, assess where you stand emotionally. If it's in a healthy place and you can manage your emotions in a healthy way — great! But if you self-soothe in destructive ways and have a negative attitude and energy about you, realize that it's not just affecting you, but others too. When you aren't an emotionally and mentally healthy person, that energy pours into everything you do, and everyone you're around will feel the effects, too.
2、你的情緒和思想都是健康的嗎?作為人類,我們是非常復雜的,心情時好時壞很正常。但是你可以總體評估一下自己的情緒狀況。如果你的情緒很健康,而且你可以以一種健康的方式來掌控自己的情緒,那太棒了!但是,如果你的自我安慰方式是毀滅式的、對自己的態度消極悲觀、充滿負能量,那么你要意識到這種情況不僅會影響到你自己,還會影響到別人。如果你不是一個情緒、思想都健康的人,那么負能量會傾瀉到你做的所有事情上,而你周圍的每個人都會受到影響。

3. How's your spirituality? In this sense, spirituality is about having an ultimate purpose and being in tune with your true self. Do you wake up every day excited for what your life is about, and have gratitude for all the abundance you already have? If not, you may not be listening and living to what your heart truly desires. Living this way long term, may affect the essence of your inner being and, in turn, may not allow you to show up your very best for the world.
3、你的精神狀況如何?在這里,精神狀況指的是懷有一個終極人生目標,并且和真實的自己合拍。你是不是每天早晨醒來都會為自己的人生感到很興奮,為你擁有的一切心懷感恩之情?如果不是,也許你沒有傾聽自己心中真實的渴望、沒有活成真正的自己。長此以往,可能會影響到你的內在自我本質。話說回來,你也無法向這個世界呈現最棒的自己。

Be kind to yourself. It can be difficult to put your health and wellbeing first when life is demanding between your career, family, friendships, relationships, and so on. If you can think of any ways to improve your wellbeing and love yourself more, start today! Take a baby step towards this. Perhaps try getting an hour more of sleep. Move your body in a way that feels good. Take time for yourself to be with your thoughts and without distractions and feel that peace.
善待自己吧。把自己的健康和幸福放在前面可能會很難,因為我們需要平衡事業、家庭、友誼、愛情,等等。但如果你想到什么方法,可以提高自己的幸福感,可以更愛自己一些,那么就從今天開始實踐吧!先向這個方向邁出一小步也是好的——比如,盡量多睡一小時,以自己感到舒服的方式活動活動身體,拿出時間與自己對話,遠離紛擾,感受那份安寧。

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